Good Bye

We thought that it would be quick.

Hospice even rushed us into her room after they took out all the tubes. That is how fast even the the doctors thought it would be. It wasn’t.

We were assured that she was in no pain but they still administered morphine. She just lay there breathing shallowly. Something she hasn’t been able to do on her own for so long. It was like she was sleeping.

The day started out with my dad, sister and sister-in-law and I going to the funeral home to make her arrangements. It was stressful and it was difficult but we chose her favorite songs and readings and picked out her casket. We decided who would speak at the funeral and who would be pall bearers.

We headed over to the hospital knowing we couldn’t prolong it any longer. Dad signed some paperwork and we were asked to wait in the waiting room while they took off all of the life support. After we went back to her room we waited for her to pass. We told her all about The plans for her funeral. We promised that there would be no pink. She hated pink! We chose one if her favorite yellow dresses and told her there would be lots of yellow flowers. Her favorite color. It matched her sunny personality! We wrote her obituary together and read it to her.

At seven o’clock Jeopardy came on. She and my dad watched it together every night. She kept hanging on. Finally we decided to take shifts to eat. Some if us hasn’t eaten since yesterday. Kathi and Tim, my younger siblings left first. Dad, Chip and I stayed. A few minutes later I watched as she took a few more breaths with more and more time in between each. At 8:53, nearly 7 hours later she was gone. Maybe she was waiting for Tim and Kathi to leave so they did not have to witness it. Maybe she thought dad, Chip and I could handle it?? We will never know.  What we do know is that it was so peaceful. We turned off the tv, and just talked to her until she was gone.

I am sure that right now she is standing at the gates of heaven breathing in huge breaths of air and because of that,  I am so happy for her even though I am so sad for all of us here.

Everyone who was ever touched by her in their lifetime should have faith that she will be watching over all of us because that is just the kind of person she was.

 

Tagged: death, funeral, grief, hospice, love, mom, peace, peaceful, saying goodbye, wife