The Eulogy

mother story

Today was the first day since my mom went into the hospital, that I actually had nothing to do.  Since the day she went into the hospital 10 days ago, I have kept myself busy.  Whether it was visiting with her in the hospital, or making arrangements after she died, I have not had a day to actually just do nothing. I decided that I would finalize her eulogy.

When I realized that my mom was not going to wake up, (and I think I was the first one to actually grasp that), I started to write her eulogy.  Perhaps that was morbid or premature, but it helped me get through the most emotional time of my life.  After she died, I asked my dad if I could read the eulogy at the funeral.  He knew that I had been chronicling her illness all week in my blog and said that I could.

Writing and delivering the eulogy will help us all remember my mom – who she was, what she did and what she enjoyed about life.  My words will remind us of happy  memories, anecdotes and stories that made us smile. which is something she loved to do. I hope to bring back happy memories of her.  She had a booming laugh, and before she got so ill with COPD, she was such a social person.  She was the life of the party.

I think that the most difficult part of writing and presenting her eulogy will be the emotional aspect.  Throughout this entire time, I have really been able to hold it together.  Not just for my kids, my family and for my dad, but for myself.  When I write my  blog, I cry every time.  It is a release for me.  The same thing happens when I read some of the sentimental emails, Facebook messages and texts that I have received.  I cry.  So as I was writing the eulogy, I laughed remembering so many happy times, but still I cried.  My fear at the funeral is not crying in front of everyone.  My fear is that if I start, I might not be able to stop.

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4 thoughts on “The Eulogy

  1. Eva Gallant March 18, 2013 at 8:58 pm Reply

    Hang in there Claire. You have shown such amazing strength during such a horrible time. I’ve been through this and I can say it’s never the same for anyone. My only advice would be to do the things you need to do to get through each day, blog, eat chocolate chip cookies, play loud music, cry, be angry, etc. I have a feeling you are already doing what helps with your blogging and being with your family. Crying is normal, which you know, and perfectly ok, which you also know. So what if you can’t stop during the eulogy? It’s nice to read what an incredible person your mom was. Knowing how wonderful you are, it is safe to say your mother was just as fabulous. Thinking of you.

    • clairesinclair March 18, 2013 at 9:04 pm Reply

      Thanks Eva. Having so much family around has been a great source of comfort. Knowing what a great lady she was and how many, many lives she has touched and inspired has helped as well. As for the chocolate chip cookies, I was joking with everyone yesterday because I gave up all desserts for Lent. I was wondering if there is a bereavement clause somewhere in the “rules of Lent”. I appreciate you getting in touch and for all of your support.

  2. Jo-Anne Callahan March 19, 2013 at 8:04 am Reply

    hope that knowing that your friends and the smiling faces of the kids — continue to think about you and your family and remember your mom.

    • clairesinclair March 19, 2013 at 8:11 am Reply

      Thank you Jo-Anne. Getting back to work with friends and the kids will be so good for me!! I totally agree. It will be a tough week, but I know how much she was loved and that helps too.

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