growing up 2

Today, DJ had his first behind the wheel driving lesson.  I am so excited for him!   I am also terrified, but I am trying not to show him that.  He is already a bit anxious himself.  I want him behind the wheel.  I want him to feel the freedom and responsibility of driving.  He is a very cautious and careful kid.  He is a total rule follower so it so I am not so much worried about him on the road as I am worried about everyone else!  Texting, drunk drivers and all of the other unexpected things people are doing out on the road.   It scares me to death!!

He left around 11:00 this morning with Mr. Silbernagel, the driving instructor…the same person who gave me MY driving lessons over 25 years ago.  He did not return until after 2:00.  I was a nervous wreck while he was gone.  I know that they had to go to the DMV first but the whole time I was wondering what he was doing out there. I was wondering where they were practicing and how he was doing.  I knew I could not text him to find out so I just had to wait. When he finally got home I could not wait to talk to him and I bombarded him with questions.  Big mistake.  I got a few shrugs and uh-huhs and not much more.  A little while later,  I decided to approach it in my “teacher way” and asked him questions like, “what did you think was the hardest” (K-turns) and “where did you find it easiest to drive” (in our town).  So I got a bit more out of him.

He will go for another practice lesson tomorrow morning.  I will once again wait with bated breath for him to come home.  I am sure at some point the anxiety will leave me – I will be going through this all over again when he gets his actual license and is out on the road on his own!  I am sure that the first time I drive with him will be an experience in itself – and most likely an idea for another blog!!

For now, despite my mixed emotions, I really am thrilled for him.  I am looking forward to his growing independence and to watching his confidence develop.  Several of my friends have been through this already and I am sure that I will look to them for guidance and advice.

All day long I kept reaching for the phone to call my mom just to tell her about how I was feeling.  I still get that urge almost daily but today more than ever.  I wanted to ask her how she felt when I went off driving for the first time.  I wanted to know how she dealt with her nerves and trepidation.  I needed her to assure me of what I already knew…that no matter how much I fret and worry over it, time won’t stop.  I can’t keep him as my little boy forever.  First he will be driving, then off to college and who knows what is out there for him after that?!!?  All parents have to face it and although I want to prolong it, I am curious to see what lies ahead of him.


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