Tag Archives: confidence


2 strength.jpg

Some friends of mine and I decided to join an exercise competition/program running in our two towns of South Orange and Maplewood. It runs from mid-January through March. With the membership, you get to try several different gyms and studios. This is a great way to try out different classes. Since the end of June, I have been going to CKO, a kickboxing gym that I absolutely LOVE! I have gotten incredibly strong because of it and it has given me way more than strength and muscles – it has given me confidence!

Enough confidence to actually try a Cross-fit class yesterday. I never, ever thought that would be something I would try, but I did and I loved it! I did pull ups! Never in my life have I been able to do even one! I even flipped a tire! A big one! Several times! So grateful to have had the opportunity to try and the confidence to get there.  If it weren’t for all of the amazing teachers at CKO, I would have never even walked through that door yesterday so today, I am feeling grateful to all of them.

A Reflection of Me

reflection of me Jan 4e

When I read today’s photo challenge, “A Reflection of Me,” all I could think about were all of my past blogs about self-image.  I do not take selfies.  At least not of me alone.  I will jump into a group shot but rarely will you find me standing in front of a mirror photographing myself.  That is why that project my friend Tammy had me do early last year was so incredibly tough for me.  It started with her making me name one thing I loved about my appearance.  The following week, she made us take 3 selfies, print them and share them with each other.  We had to point out what we liked best about each others photos and what we saw in our own.

It was so easy to find beauty in theirs but it was so hard to find it in my own.  I wasn’t alone in this thought.  Every single one of us found it hard to find beauty in our own photos.  When I see people posting selfies I don’t feel any animosity towards them – in fact it is the opposite.  I feel a bit envious of their confidence.

I have been getting better about this.  I am finding more reasons to feel confident and not hiding in the back when it is time to take a photo.  I still find my self covering the side of my face with my hair and that might not change.

I chose today’s photo because I am there, inside each raindrop…behind the camera….the place I love to be, but I am there.  Reflected in each of those raindrops is a blurred image of me.  Usually the way I feel when a photo is taken of me is, vulnerable and exposed…but when I am behind the camera, you will see the confident, self-assured person I can really be!

self esteem image


don't worry

My friend Eddie is quite possibly the most confident person I have ever met.  He is on Broadway, an amazing dancer, handsome and no stranger to the selfie on Facebook.  In his profile, he describes his work as “Dishwater Dada to Devastatingly Fierce Dancer in a Hot Second.”  What’s not confident about that?!?!  He has an amazing family and is a fantastic, hands on dad.  He makes me laugh and his positive, self-confident attitude is what draws people to him.  He is like a magnet attracting everyone in his path.

Today, he posted something that surprised me.  He wrote,

I am not shy about many things but my voice is one of them. I have always been told all my life “your vibrato is too fast”, “you have to sing with straight tones”, “your inflections are very strange”. It has taken a lot of practice to blend in with a chorus of singers, but when I take a solo I’m tossing that all away and letting my “real” vocal take flight. It’s scary to put something like this out there, but I’m trying to uncover my own sound as a performer. I LOVE this song, it is one take…so imperfect, but I like that and purely for fun. Enjoy!

I was shocked to think that he, a Broadway actor, would fear something like this.  Eddie is one of those people that does his own thing, marches to the beat of his own drum. I guess it just proves that no matter how confident someone might seem, everyone experiences times of self-doubt.  Especially if they are trying something new.  Perhaps it is the fear of failing?

I am glad that he put it out there for others to hear.  I am sure he will receive plenty of compliments and praise for it.  Perhaps he will get criticism as well.  Maybe that is what he is looking for.  He strives for perfection and I am sure this is going to give him the confidence that he needs to reach it!





My younger son Drew loves baseball.  This year, he is on the summer travel B-Team.  He was so excited when he found out that he had made the team.  He is so proud of his uniform!  He wears number 36, his lucky number.  His team consists of a great group of 5th and 6th grade boys and some really encouraging, supportive and dedicated coaches.  Listening to them cheer each other on is one of my favorite parts of the game.

Drew is a decent player, he is on the small side but works extremely hard to keep up with the kids who are bigger than him.   For what he lacks in size, he makes up for in enthusiasm and spirit.  He has one of the loudest voices on the field, always yelling out instructions to his teammates.

Drew has been struggling with his batting this year.  Since he is small, he has a small strike zone so is often walked.  He loves to steal bases.  He steals every chance he gets, almost always sliding.  I think that he believes the dirtier he gets the better the slide!!  He has been disappointed in himself when it comes to batting though.  This has been causing him to be quite down on himself when he talks about his at bats.  This morning he found a penny and he said he was going to put it in his back pocket for good luck, (we still think every time we find a penny, it is my mom sending us a message telling us she is watching over us).

One of his teammates just got a new bat.  Drew has been envious of the bat since he saw it.  He hadn’t used it yet, but the teammate let him try it out a bit at practice to see if he liked it.  If you can fall in love with an inanimate object, then Drew has found his beloved!!  He had Dave driving him around for days trying to find the bat at several sporting goods stores.  No luck.  Finally, Drew found the bat on line.  It is quite expensive so we told him that if he paid for half, we would pay the rest.  We ordered it on line.  He has been tracking the delivery of it ever since.  It did not arrive in time for today’s game.  He was not very happy about that.  Lucky for him, the boy who had the bat already, let him use it for the game.

First time Drew got up to bat, he hit a line drive to right field!!!!!!  Unfortunately it went right to the right fielder and Drew was out.  I figured he’d be upset, but quite the contrary.  He was beaming!  He kept saying that it was his biggest hit ever!   Then, in the fifth inning, he was up again.   After several foul balls, Drew hit another line drive right over the left fielder’s head!  A double!!!!  To Drew though, it was as good as hitting a home-run.  He could not stop smiling.

What a confidence booster the game was for him today.  He has not stopped talking about it.  He is convinced it was the bat.  He has vividly explained the feeling of the ball hitting the bat over and over to us all afternoon.  He says he has never felt anything like it.  Normally, he has trouble bouncing back after a game if he feels he played badly.  Today, it has been all smiles, and exhilaration.  He can not wait to play in the next game!

After the game, I asked him if he thought it was the lucky penny in his pocket that “helped” him get those big hits tonight.  He told me it was “totally the bat.”  He said that he had forgotten the penny and  showed me what he had in his back pocket instead.  It was my mom’s mass card.  A laminated one that he told me he keeps in his pocket during his games.  So maybe it was the bat, maybe it was his angel grandma, or maybe he just needed that boost of confidence to make him realize that he could do it.  Whatever it was, it was uplifting for me to see that glint of inspiration he has while he looks forward to the next game.