Responsible

My dad is on his way to recovery.  He was sitting in a chair out of his hospital bed this morning when I went to visit.  He had eaten his breakfast and brushed his teeth.  Definitely on the upswing.  The doctors want him up and walking around now.  He wasn’t ready to do it while I was there so I made him promise he’d do it when my sister arrived. Waiting to hear from her if he followed through!

He was gazing out the window talking about what a beautiful day it looked like outside and he was right!  Memorial Day weekend started off a bit rainy, but today, the weather was perfect.  Tomorrow is expected to be the same which is great for the Memorial Day Parade and Duck Races in town.

When we knew how nice the weather was supposed to be, DJ had asked us if he could take Drew to a Somerset Patriot Game today.   They are a minor league baseball team about 45 minutes from our house.  Dave and I debated about letting him take him without us.  It would be his first drive on the highway since getting his license without one of us being in the car with him.  There were two options for him to get there.  One required driving on two highways, and the other was to take Route 22.  If you aren’t from this area, you would not understand the apprehension we have with Route 22.  The best word to describe it would be chaotic.  There are cars merging on and off of it from the left and right.  Jug handles and u-turns every few miles.  There are center islands with many stores, and cars pulling out from all directions.  Traffic lights every few minutes.  Total mayhem!  I have been driving for over 25 years and I still don’t like driving on it!  You have to be aggressive enough, but not overly aggressive at the same time.

Last night, we discussed it and I told him we had to make a decision, either Route 22 where he could drive 45 mph or the two highways with higher  speeds, more traffic and no lights to slow him down.  So after some debate and asking DJ what he thought, the choice was Route 22.  I went to bed a little nervous but feeling like we made the right choice.  He’s going to have to do it sooner or later and I can’t let my nervousness stop him.

This morning, they got up and were getting ready to leave when a text came in from my brother offering him two tickets to The Met’s Game.  So, the decision making began again.  Letting him take Drew to Citi Field by train(s) or sticking to the original plan and going to the minor league game.  I have let DJ go to plenty of Mets’ Games by train, it was having Drew tag along with no adult supervision that made me nervous.  The only problem with making the decision this time, was that I had to do it on my own since Dave was playing in a soccer game and I couldn’t reach him before they’d have to leave.

I finally decided to let them go see the Mets.  They aren’t little kids.  They are totally capable and I know this. Kids who grow up in the city travel this way all of the time.  They sent me a message when they got there and took a photo for me to see their seats.   I love when they spend time together.  Their five year age span sometimes makes this a challenge.  Drew tries so hard to to get DJ to spend time with him and he loves it when he does.  I know they are having a great time.  I have to give them more opportunities to do things like this.  In just over a year, DJ will be going to college and depending how far away he goes, their time together cold be limited so I need to let them enjoy it while they can!

 

Responsibility

In my blog yesterday, I briefly mentioned that we got Drew a cellphone over the weekend.  The plan had always been to wait until he graduates from 5^th grade and heads off to Middle School.  Of course, we heard over and over, “but everyone else already has one”, (not true of course), but we had a “deal” sort of fall into our lap.

We went to a Verizon store to update the ipad mini that they gave me for my birthday.  While we added the data plan to it, our sales representative pointed out that we were paying more than we needed to for what we already had, and could actually benefit by changing our plan and pay less.  How often does something like that happen??  Getting more but paying less?!?  So we decided to switch over our plan.  While Dave and I were doing that, Drew was wandering around the store trying to decide on what phone he would get in June.  Our sales rep, (quietly, so that Drew would not hear), let us know that they had “another deal” where the iphone 4 was free while supplies lasted.  We were not going to go ahead with it, until we realized that with our new plan, even adding our ipad AND this new iphone we were still “making out” positively on this deal.  So lucky day for Drew, as he walked out of there with his new phone.

We have tried to turn this into a learning experience for him.  He is responsible for it at all times.  While he is at school, (since he goes where I teach), he will leave it in my classroom from when he gets there until he leaves at the end of the day.  He will have limited hours at nighttime and the phone goes off completely at bedtime.

He needs to show maturity and prove that he is responsible. He will have to show us “phone etiquette”.  He may not ignore any calls or texts from Dave or me.  He will not use profanity or use it in anyway that can get him into trouble.  We have told him about the permanence of what is out there in the world of the Internet and once something is written and sent, it is there forever.  Things can be spread and go viral instantly and he can and will have no part of that.  No embarrassing photos, nothing that could cause another person to feel intimidated.  He knows already that if he receives inappropriate texts or calls, he must let us know as well.  Rules will be followed or the phone will be taken away.  He knows that we are serious and will follow through.

He is so excited, and only two days into this, is already showing signs of responsibility.  Will it last?  We cannot say, but whether it is the “cool factor” of finally getting his own phone after his brother has had one for a while, or a new way for him to communicate with us, he is proving that he might be able to handle this.