Tag Archives: life support

Prayer….is anyone listening?

pray

Last week at church we were given a book filled with daily reflections for Lent.  I hadn’t opened it until tonight.  Tonight’s meditation was this,

How effective is prayer? Does it work?  And when it “doesn’t,” what is your response?

I am really not a very religious person but I began to  think a little more about today’s reflection on prayer.  Knowing what a hard time we were going through a year ago this week, I decided to look back at what I wrote a year ago today and it had to do with us all praying for my mom and for the best outcome for her and for all of us.  It was causing a lot of tension because some of us knew that the inevitable was going to happen and the others refused to give in to that.  So which ones of us had our prayers answered?  Kathi and I, who were hoping that she could just be out of her misery – knowing full well what that would mean for us…or my dad and brothers who were praying for her to wake up and be “normal” again?  None of us wanted to lose her but in the end, were her own prayers answered?  She was struggling so much with all of her breathing issues.  I know that leaving us all behind was not her prayer but not being so sick had to have been.

None of us know how prayer works.  I hope that some day we will all find out.  For now, I have to have faith that God is listening to us and doing what is best for all of us.  We might not understand it now, but we do know that he works in mysterious ways and I am confident that some day we will know the reasons behind what he has planned for all of us.

The Hardest Decision

death love

Tonight at the hospital, my mother’s doctor told us that there was no brain activity and that she would never be able to breathe on her own.  There is also no chance of her regaining consciousness.  We have been told that this was a possibility since she arrived at the hospital on Friday night but it was very difficult to believe.

My sister and I have been understanding and accepting this since the beginning.  My brothers and father could not let go of that glimmer of hope.   We did not argue about it, we just needed to deal with it in our own way.  Tonight though, we all gathered at my parent’s home and there was no longer disagreement, just harmony as we all came together.  We laughed and cried, shared stories and looked at pictures.  We read the hundreds of messages of support that we have gotten from friends and family.  I always knew what an amazing, generous and kind woman my mom was and these messages  have only confirmed what I already knew.

We have not decided when we will turn off the life support.  I know that she is ready to go, but we want to give family and friends who love her so much, the opportunity to say good bye and let her know just how special is to all of us.  She had the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known and she had a remarkable affect on everyone she met.