Tag Archives: signs

Mail for Mom

I was all set to go to bed when I remembered I hadn’t written tonight. Today’s photo prompt is “A Word.” I had no idea what to write until I saw the pile of mail Drew had tossed onto my desk this afternoon. There, in the pile was a catalog from Justice. I have only shopped there once, for my niece Gabi. Because of that, I occasionally I get mailings from them.

When I was in college, I had a credit card tied to my dad’s. That was more than 25 years ago. I obviously don’t have that account anymore. It was long before I ever lived in the house I am living in now, but once in awhile, I will still get something addressed to him even at this address. My mom and I never had accounts tied to one another, so I don’t quite know how this happened. I actually don’t want to really know. It was just nice to see in the pile so my words for today, are her name.

(I cropped out my address for obvious reasons…)

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Tried Something New

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I have written more than once about needing a place to worship, but that I am frustrated with the Catholic Church. I love my church. The beauty of the architecture, the music and the familiarity are just a few of the things I love about it. I have received five of the seven sacraments there. My mother was buried there. Her funeral, despite being the saddest day of my life, was also one of the most moving and beautiful because of that church. Yet, so many of my beliefs don’t conform with those of the Catholic Church. I feel hypocritical some days even being there. I used to go to mass weekly but have found myself going less and less.

Today, with the encouragement of a friend, I attended services at Morrow Memorial United Methodist Church. I have been contemplating going for many years. Even when I taught preschool there, more than 10 years ago, but I am such a creature of habit, I never got the courage to try something different. It took me a few weeks and several conversations with this friend, to work up the courage to just try it.

I am so glad I did. I saw so many familiar faces and the welcome could not have been any warmer. From the woman who greeted me at the door, to the smiling faces sitting all around me. There were so many similarities to the Catholic Mass. I knew the songs and the prayers. Although, quite different was when they sang a song by The Black Eyed Peas during the service! “Where is the Love.” Which fit in perfectly with the sermon,that didn’t feel like a lecture but more of a story of how we can live our lives in a positive way.

One of my students from last year happened to walk by and see me and ask if she could sit with me. Of course I said yes. She and her uncle sat beside me and I told them it was my first time and asked her if she’d show me what I needed to do. She giggled and said yes. Before the service there had been a children’s class and she had created a crown. During the service she was writing on it and at one point she turned to me and gave it to me. It said, “Kindis Tchr” her translation, “Kindness Teacher.” Of course, being the sappy person I am, I got a bit weepy. She told me to keep it and wear it around.

I often write about “signs” and taking them as messages. “God Wings” Dave calls them because they are messages from God letting us know that he is watching over us and sending us little signs. Seeing my sweet student was the first one. At one point they sang, Eagle’s Wings, which I am almost sure was sung at my mom’s funeral. More weepiness.

Today is not the day I will make my final decision. I will go back and see if I find it as wonderful as I did today. Will I stop going to my Catholic Church? Probably not yet. Will I try something else? Maybe. I just want a peaceful place that I can go to worship and pray when I need to. A place that is warm, inviting, diverse and inclusive. A place where everyone is welcome.

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Happy Birthday Mom

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No one loved to celebrate birthdays more than my mom so it is fitting that since today is her birthday, we all go out and celebrate in her honor! We will head to The Reservoir of course….it was her favorite restaurant.  Twenty of us getting together to celebrate her.

I had considered going to the cemetery to visit with her today. I am not a big fan of where she is buried. The cemetery itself is beautiful, but she is in a mausoleum and I don’t like the coldness of it. The artificial flowers and forced air don’t make me feel welcome and I don’t find myself going as often as I feel I should. Instead, yesterday, I went to her bench in the park. It is my peaceful spot to go when I am missing her or feeling sad. A bunny and a butterfly where right beside the bench when I arrived. More signs from mom? Maybe… Regardless, it made me feel like she knew I was there. I sat for a bit and wished her a happy day. It is the same place where we have released balloons for her birthday in the past.  I hope you have caught some of those yellow balloons and are celebrating up in heaven. We miss you!

 

Mom’s Birthday

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Today would have been my mom’s 69th birthday.  I always write about how I believe in signs and that no matter how silly they seem, I think they mean something.  I have always been that way and maybe it is just because I am looking for something to have meaning behind it.  Signs give me  comfort though, or at least stir up memories so whether it is a sign from above or something else, I like believing in them.

I am sure it is just because it is her birthday, but “the signs” began arriving last night.  I went outside my front door to wait for my dad who was dropping something off.  On my front sidewalk was a partially deflated balloon that said, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” on it.  I have no idea where it floated from and on any other day, I would have left it there to continue on its journey but instead, I scooped it up and brought it inside thinking it was a sign from mom telling me not to forget her birthday, (as if I ever would!)  I met up with Drew at his baseball game and when it was over, I told him about the balloon.  His eyes lit up and and he said that grandma must have sent it.  I have passed along my superstitions about signs to him…I think that’s a good thing 🙂

The second sign came at camp this morning. Our special needs camp runs along with another town camp and we try to integrate the camps as often as we can.  One of the little girls in the other camp who I didn’t know, came running up to me and asked me if I would hold on to her lanyard that she was creating so that she could play a different game. I told her of course, but asked her what her name was so that I was sure it got back to her.  She looked at me as if I should have known it and said, “Ellie.”  My mom’s name.  Coincidence, of course, but a sign nonetheless.

I picked up Drew from camp and brought that balloon that had floated to our front walk yesterday.  I asked Drew if he wanted to go to the cemetery for a few minutes and visit with grandma.  He did, so we made the quick drive over and brought in that balloon.  We left it there for her.  Drew also left her one of his little rubber ducks.  Then we headed home for him to get ready for his baseball game tonight.  He has the number 13 written on his arms hoping that it will bring him luck tonight.  13 was my mom’s lucky number.

Before heading to Drew’s game, we met at mom’s bench at the park. Dad brought along 13 yellow balloons.  Adding to the coincidences, dad told us all that when he got into the car to come here, Moon River was playing on the radio. It was their wedding song. Six ducks swam down the brook as we were sitting there. A butterfly flew past too.

We all sang happy birthday to her and let the balloons sail up into the sky and watch until we couldn’t see them any longer.

 

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